Belief
On Catch today, there was a link for the I Used to Believe Project. After just seeing the name, one of my prominent childhood beliefs instantly sprang to mind. I considered submitting it to their site, but what I wound up with seemed a little long and wordy in comparison to many of the other entries. So, rather than pick a word today, here is my youthful belief.
I used to believe in light.
When I was small, my all-too-vivid imagination would loose terrible creatures upon my bed. Shadow creatures, hiding just behind doors. Heavy breathing invisible creatures, creeping up on my bed. Creatures just large enough to make the floor creak and the air around me electric with their presence. My sole defense against these imaginary demons was light.
In the summer, I would carefully set up the proper tableau before I drifted off to sleep. Hand in the middle of a book, glasses beside me, reading lamp on. What’s this? Poor little Brian was reading his book and fell asleep. He didn’t even get to turn off his light.
I could sleep in the brightest of rooms, possibly more easily than in the darkest. It was the light that kept the visions of horror at bay. It was the light that saved me, cleansed my little room of horror.
I had a flashlight. It was a boxy plastic apparatus, “Duracell” emblazoned on its side. Small on the store’s shelf, but large in my trembling hands. I had a drawer full of ammo for my weapon against the darkness - small silver bullets to energize the light. This small device was my bedtime companion for quite some time in my youth. Instant light whenever I needed it. The saving grace of illumination.
As I grew older, the monsters changed. Divorce. Theft. Heartbreak. Loss. Scandal. Death. Buildings fell, planes disintegrated. Some things happened to me directly, others blended into the background noise. Immensely sad, but shortly forgotten.
Through it all, the batteries grow weaker. I try to find larger, more powerful lights, but they no longer help. When I was young, I only had to light one small room. Now that I’m older, my experience has grown and I find myself concerned with much larger areas. I turn on the television, read the paper, look at all the news sites, and there is often a single nagging question in the back of my mind.
How do you light the world?
