Vision
I am so hungry. In fact, I’m at that stage of hunger where everything just starts to turn silly. You know - that point where all you want to do is rock back and forth, moaning “I’m sooooooo hungry” and giggling occasionally. I’m a step away from some serious hallucinating, but I have to stick around and do some work.
This brings to mind those spiritual vision quests that many tribal civilizations would have their members go through. You turn a certain age, they hand you a stick and a bag of peyote and send you out into the woods. You wander around hungry and doped up until you bump into your spirit guide, who will give you wonderful insights into the inner workings of yourself and the world.
Unfortunately, I live in one of those damn modern civilizations. I suppose I could draw a few parallels, though.
- All of these cubicles around me are like trees in a post-modern sort of forest.
- I have my red aluminum cannister filled to the top with my mind-altering drug of choice. It even has a little mantra engraved on the side - “Kooooh Kaaaah Kooooh Laaaah”.
- While I don’t have a stick, I do have my trusty Sith Lord dual-bladed lightsaber (batteries included) to illuminate my way and fend off my predatory co-workers.
I’ve been wandering around this forest of mine, growing hungrier by the step and annoying most of the woodland sprites by poking my head in their tree and mentioning how hungry I am. None of the sprites has food for me and they keep grumbling things like “…deadlines..” and “Can’t you see I’m on the phone?”
My biggest problem is that my spirit guide appears to be the Spirit of Christmas Past. It could be worse, I suppose. I could’ve been stuck with the Spirit of St. Louis. I’d hate to be that high in the air, as hungry as I am. Then again, maybe I would get one of those little bags of peanuts.
Mmmmmmmm. Peanuts.
Instead, my spirit guide shows me sitting in a litter of wrapping paper playing with my new Death Star playset. Great. Now I’m hungry and wishing I had never taken my toys out of their boxes. Thanks, Spirit.
Why couldn’t I get the Spirit of the American Worker? To think, at this very moment, I could’ve been sitting on my couch, watching TV and eating Frito’s
Mmmmmmmm. Frito’s.
